i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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