Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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