I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
