Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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