apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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