i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
