Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
