I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
