yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
