I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
