Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
