Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
you win again, gameday.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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