it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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