your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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