We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
