I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
