oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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