sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
