Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
