I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
