my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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