uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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