Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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