hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize