she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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