We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize