Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize