is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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