Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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