**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
handjob tips. give me some.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Less talking, more tequila
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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