I swear she didn't look like that last week.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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