party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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