sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
