I wanna passion pit in your ass
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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