once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhhâ€
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