I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
