ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
