I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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