I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
