Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
