They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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