Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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