I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
