Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
