ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
