Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
