Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
