Banned from zoo.
Again?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
