Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
