He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
