Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"

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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.

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(256): View more from Alabama

'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option

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(410): View more from Maryland

my shit smells like andre

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(347): View more from New York

when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.

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(214): View more from Texas

Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.

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(772): View more from Florida

Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?

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