Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
