I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
