My sheets look like a crime scene.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
