i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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