Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
