At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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