Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
