READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Randomize
