A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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